


Procrastination

by tropical_dream



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, Onghwang, bit of Hwangsung, nielsung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 04:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15721902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tropical_dream/pseuds/tropical_dream
Summary: “Jisung Hyung, this is Daniel, the guy I told you before. Niel-ah meet Yoon Jisung, our dear friend and theatre department lecturer” Seongwu introduced them.Daniel already Met Jisung before. He knew him In an Intimate way.Ex private tutor turned lover AUEnjoy!





	1. Halcyon days-Kang Daniel

“So Why I need to chaperone you to this event again?” Asked Daniel to the roommate beside him who dragged him out on Saturday night to his uni event. He was busy playing with his phone while his roommate seongwu busy with his steering wheel, driving them to the popular bbq place near han river.

“Because this close buddy of mine need me as his wingman to hit someone he got his eyes on and I don’t want to be the loser loner who stay at the place if they eventually hooked up. I also don’t want to leave early because people say this place is really good”

Daniel scoffed at the long explanation that he actually asked just to fill in between their luls. He stretched his hands and yawn “This place better be good then if I need to accompany your sorry ass to some stranger’s party”

Fortunately that place actually deliver some of the best food he ever eat.

The quality of various cuts of meat are things he could only dare to wish on his birthday. The side dish and snack choice is as vary as one can ever hope for. They also provide high quality  liquors and desserts. Daniel’s eyes  glazed over the buffet and bbq section making strategy on how to devour all of it systematically.

He was introduced to some of Seongwu’s friend from theatre department. There’s guys name Dongho, Cha Eunwoo and Hwang something.. all good looking, All dressed fashionably, all names he didn’t really care to remember because when there is good food in front of him the last thing he need is remembering name and faces he wasn’t sure he’ll meet again.

They choose a table and start eating. One of the handsome guy his roommate introduced him before sat with them. Seongwu and him engrossed on a conversation he barely able to relate to wich he find it fine since he engrossed with a mission to try every single food on this banquet.

After some moment when his stomach felt a bit tight, Daniel slow down on the food and started to scan the room. He made an observation and notice this room filled with a lot of good looking people. As expected from theatre and performance department.  Heck, even the lecturer looks pretty,  high class and dandy. Theres prof Seokhoon who  knowingly popular among female student despite he is in his mid 40’s and prof Yoo who is one of the biggest actor in the industry right now. His fansite admins probably lurking around  outside right now.

His gaze move to other place, he saw that handsome guy who previously talking with Seongwu now standing in one corner with another man who wear a white shirt, ripped tight jeans and silver earrings dangling on one of his ears.

His heart skipped a bit, he is almost choked on the food inside his mouth.

He looks familiar.  

No, Daniel sure he is unmistakably someone he knew way back then.

How could he forget that laugh, that crescent eyes and that pale milky skin wrapping the slender frame of him. The number of sparks and dangles on his his ears gave himself immediately.

The handsome guy wave at their direction. Seongwu who sat beside him wave back and as if on cue dragged Daniel with his arm to where they stand.

Daniel didn’t expect it. His face frozen, eyes stuck at him as if he is  some kind of new discovery. He was dragged to the corner as if he is some kind of robot with rusty joint.

“Jisung Hyung, this is Daniel, the guy I told you before. Niel-ah meet Yoon Jisung, our dear friend and theatre department lecturer” Seongwu introduced them.

Daniel already Met Jisung before

Heck, He knew him

In an Intimate way

 

_He was  an eighteen years high schooler whose mother desperately want him to pass the national exam. Jisung was a college tutor said mother hired to make her wish come true because her son seeming didn’t care about academic achievement._

_Bless her mother,  Daniel didn’t expect she choose such a handsome and beautiful  person to privately teaching academic subjects he usually didn’t have any attraction to. He fell to a new subject wich is the tutor itself._

_“Hyung, lets make a bet” He challenged him after a couple of sleepless night and nasty dreams involving the man who sat beside him 3 days every week._

_“What kind of bet?” Asked him while smiling wide albeit curiously_

_“If I manage to score 80 this next test, You’ll give me a kiss”_

_Jisung raised his eyebrows over the ridiculous dare. For one, Daniel never been able to score above 50 on all of his test. So asking for 80 was kinda ambitious. Secondly, He wasnt expected the dare suggested  would be a cute thing such as a kiss. He expected something like food or money._

_But kiss might be better since it wont cost him anything, He was as poor as any college student could be._

_And so he agreed._

_Unexpectedly Daniel score 82 on that exact test. And as promised, Jisung gave him a peck on his cheek. Daniel protested. That wasn’t the kiss he wanted._

_Jisung made another promise if he score another 80 on the other subject, He’ll give him the kiss that he wanted._

_Daniel managed to score the target and this time he gave him a peck on the lips._

_But then he wanted more_

_They kept doing the bet, they raised the stake. The target getting higher and  the reward getting riskier. Nonetheless, Daniel’s mother was really happy since his son for once on his life seemingly become a smart model student who keep getting good score on test after test. She thanked Jisung even gave him bonus for his service. Little did she knew His service involved more than his academic proficiency and ability to educate peculiar kids._

_Daniel blamed his dirty little brain who only managed to work properly only if he can statisfy the things between his legs._

_The little game they play escalated until around the time after national exam. Daniel demanded the promised French kiss and that he can do it as long as he can and touched wherever he wanted._

_Unsurprisingly he couldn’t control himself and ended up fucking him._

_On his defense, jisung let him._

_After that day, Jisung never came back to tutor him again._

_Not that he needed it anymore, His contract was due before that. However  Jisung literally severed all the contacts with him. He  probably even changed his number because Daniel tried to call him from different numbers and failed._

_Her mother later informed that he already moved out of town when Daniel find the guts to asked his whereabouts to her. He smacked himself out of regret for not asking her sooner before he was gone._

_He felt responsible after what he did to him, that actually doesn’t make sense, but his little naïve head thought that he should marry him or something after he took advantage of him._

_He wanted to take care of him, be with him every day without the pretense of studying. He dreamed of going out with him, watching movie, Eating at a chic caffee,  holding hand while walking on the street. All the things he watched the couples do on tv._

_But now Jisung is no where to be found, his first love, His first kiss,  his first on everything._

_Its one of the things from his teenage years that he regretted losing, even until now._

 

Daniel cant believe all his senses right know. Jisung smiles, shake his hand and introduce himself as if they never met before. His mouth felt sticky with dryness and betrayal.

Him, The handsome guy and Seongwu moved to other subject right after introduction and he still cant find his voice nor his courage to confront him. When he finally did, Jisung already excused himself to talk to some other lecturer.

How could he? Pretended to forget him? To ignore him and their past? Was he ashamed? Was he still cant forgive what he did?

All that thoughts bugging him the entire night. Render him catatonic, unable to function normally.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ya! What happened to you last night?” A smack landed on the back of his head “ You was supposed to became my wingman yet you left early”  Complained his roommate the next day. Seongwu  threw himself to the sofa next to him.

“Ah, but nevermind, the plan was ruined anyway” Seongwu sighed,opened a can of beer and gulped it down his throath. Daniel can smell  shampoo and soap from him. Somehow it stimulate an idea from his brain.

“Hyung, do you have Yoon jisung ssi’s number?” Asked Daniel ignoring whatever he said before

“Hmm?” Seongwu turned toward him with curious expression  “Yes I have.  but why you need it I may ask?”

“I need to give him this handkerchief back. Last night my shirt got spilled with some drink and he lend me this” Answered Daniel smoothly while pulling the piece of cloth from his pocket

“Aah, I can give this back to him for you” said Seongwu recognized the handckercief on his roomate’s hand. He reached for it, but Daniel snapped it back before he could take it.

“I need to give this to him personally” He said promptly

“Why?”

“I..I need to…Ah I need to apologize to him. I was kinda angry and cursing at him when he spilled the drink. I was a little bit drunk, he might be upset over it.” Daniel mentally praised his little brain for coming up to such clever excuse in a short notice.

Seongwu’s eyebrow knotted, his expression become upset upon hearing it  “Ah, you really need to properly apologize to him then. He is a nice man who doesn’t deserved to be cussed at” He said while pulling out the number from his phone and gave it to him.

 

It’s not surprising that it’s a  little bit difficult to Reached Jisung  considering what happened at the event. But his relentless efforts including sweet talking a campus admin to contact him through land line telephone granted him an appointment at nearby pub that frequented by campus’s staff.   

 He started the rendezvous nervously with a regretful tone. He relayed to Jisung that he is aware regarding what he did years ago was wrong, he did it because he genuinely liked him and his hormone filled mind wasn’t in right condition. Now that they meet again as new person,  He really wanted to apologize and mend their relationship.

After hearing  his story, Jisung sighed and smiled to him softly

“I didn’t knew you blamed yourself for that. You know… I was the one who should be responsible with what happened.  I am so ashamed that I coudn’t bring myself to meet you again” He poured drink into their glasses and raised It up “I am glad you reached out to me. Come, put this behind us and lets drink some to celebrate this”

Daniel smiled brightly upon hearing jisung’s soft voice. The warm tone that guided  him to solve difficult subject at school and assured him that he is not a good for nothing student like most people used to say about him.  He regretted that he misused his kindness to satiated his lust. It cost him this warmth for years. 

How he missed him so bad.

After  the initial conversation, Both of them started to loosening up and catching up on the years they have  lost. Jisung told him how he actually never moved town and begged daniel’s mother to never tell him his whereabout. He pursue master degree after graduated and seek a job as lecturer while active in a musical scene

Daniel told him that after a successful exam, wich jisung was actually aware of from his mother, He didn’t apply to any college. After some soul searching,  he joined a dance conservatory that affiliated with University where jisung work at now. He even bagged some awards from various  local festivals.

Since the first time they met years ago Daniel already told him about his secret passion for dancing and Jisung really happy knowing that the boy actually working toward his goal.

They were filled with warm feeling of nostalgia and memories about each other and keep ordering drinks to make the night a bit longer and for the conversation a bit lighter.

Maybe it’s the mix of drinks and laughter. Or how their seat position gradually  become closer, or how they started to pat and touched each other bodies, later that night within safe wall of Jisung’s condo they find themselves devouring each other’s lips while desperately taking each other clothes and exploring each other skin. A much similar language like they used to do at the end of the lecture yet with completely different feeling.

* * *

 

 

Morning find Daniel with a semi hangover. However once he get to look at a peaceful face resting on his chest, the headache alleviate a bit. He smiled realizing that fate be so kind to met him with the love he thought had lost forever. Slowly as not to wake him up he lift his hand, using his fingers trace the side of naked body lying beside him. From his arm down to his hips. The smooth milky skin exactly like he imagined all these years, no, its even better because it’s warm, it has texture, Its the real thing. He made a circular motion on his hips and then down to his belly. Seems like it tickles jisung as the older one fidgeting and flinch at the motion.

“Morning” said Daniel in a husky low tone while looking at the slit of the eyes that slowly opened up. His hand never leave from the slender hips. Hugging him possessively.

Jisung finally properly awake. The first thing he see is the puppy like face with a bunny teeth smile decorating his face. The older one promptly covered his face with his arm and bury it into the younger’s chest.

“Morning…and I am sorry” said the older one with parched tone

“Hey hey…” Daniel tear the hand away and lift jisung’s face and force him to look at him “Why? Whats wrong that you said sorry?” asked him with worried tone. He doesn’t want to taint this amazing occurance with regret once again.

“Because I couldn’t control myself again with you” he said while pouting “I am older and supposedly wiser, but here I am ended up like I did years ago” His tone dropped  into a whine.

The expression jisung made combined with his pleading tone and messy hair churned something within daniel’s stomach. He quickly claimed the older’s lips, nibbling  and licking the outer part of his lips.

“Please don’t be” He said between kisses “This is everything I ever wished for” 

“But what about relationship? I.. I am not sure If I am ready” Jisung said breathless after he pulled from their kiss

“You don’t need to think it too hard for now, as long as I can be here beside you” Daniel tighten the embrace and snuggle his face to jisung’s shoulder. Realizing that the crook on his neck feels weirdly comforting for him.

“Are you sure?” He asked, eyebrows knotted

“Yes I am” Answered Daniel again while nodding reassuringly. Eyes filled with love looking straight at him.

Jisung’s eyes changed into a cresent shape following the upward curve of his lips

“Thank you for being so understanding  niel-ah”

Looking at his angelic expression, Daniel cant hold himself from devouring the lips again. Their kiss become deeper and  their body become hotter as  the hands sensuously travelling across the older’s body become wilder. Jisung feels a certain part between the younger legs growing. He bring his hand down to touch it and stroke it slowly, making the younger groans with want.

Daniel pleads with his eyes as he feels he cant hold it anymore. The older one look with an understanding expression, nodded and help him to position the staff to his entrance between the two  firm mounds of his bottom that’s been ravaged hours ago.

This time they make it slow. Feeling everything within their nerve.  Basking in the morning bliss, pure joy, lust and contendness.

* * *

 

 

They weren’t make it official or put a label to their relationship. However they always seek each other out with Daniel being the more persistent one. He’ll often pick jisung from his working place and gives him a ride him at the back of his motorcycle. He’ll take him to dinner or movie then take him home. Often times its just how their days ended. sometimes, Jisung will invite him inside for some coffe and a passionate love making session.

 Its not long before the rumour spread on campus about theatre department lecturer’s hot boyfriend.  It’s a viral topic among the student since Jisung was one of the hottest available bachelor among theatre division faculty member. People started to dig out the identity of  the lucky one under the helmet who managed to snatch their handsome lecturer. Theatre division located far from the newly formed dance conservatory, but with someone knows someone whose friend with someone its not difficult to name the subject.

 

“Ya, Niel ah!” Seongwu called his roommate who lately seems busy and seldom stay at their shared apartement “Is it true that you are dating Yoon Jisung, our theatre lecturer?”

Daniel who just arrived from Jisung’s condo and took off his helmet  look at his roommate with wondering expression.

“Well…we are not officially dating yet, but yeah we are quite close lately”

“What the hell that even means? Are you guys just fooling around? People said you often stay over at hyung’s place”

Daniel surprised by the accusing tone his roommate use. He felt a bit offended but hold himself back

“We are not, At least I am sure I am not. I am serious about him”

Seongwu covered his face, he look exasperated wich confuse Daniel even more. Why his roommate so invested with his relationship with Jisung?

“Please..please stop this right away. Jisung Hyung is not for yours to take” Finally Seongwu open his mouth “He is Minhyun’s”

 

They might went into brawl if Daniel didnt pushed down his anger and forced himself to listen to what his roommate means. He was lost at the mention of the name until his roommate reminded him that Hwang Minhyun was the handsome guy who sat at their table and speak with him during the event.

“You didn’t listen to what I said that night weren’t you? The story about being a wingman of a buddy who want to hit on some one….”

“Yes I listened, atleast  up to that point” Cut Daniel impatient.

“That buddy was Hwang minhyun and the person he wanted to hit on was Yoon Jisung. They were a couple years ago.  They broke up and became a good friend until my stupid buddy refound his love for him  and intended to rekindled their relationship again”

Daniel scoffed at the explanation “I feel bad for your friend, but its not my fault if Jisung hyung wasn’t interested in going back to him”

“No, don’t take their relationship lightly, You don’t know how deep they were in love back then, and how messy their situation when they were broke up.  They were together for years”

“And So? Is that make my relationship with Jisung a lot less prominent? I’ve known Jisung hyung for years too you know”

Daniel snapped and told the story of how they knew each other. Seongwu almost dropped his lower jaw to the floor over this story about Jisung and his roomate.  Him and Minhyun are childhood friend who’ve been knew Jisung from their teenage years. But never did they knew Jisung have such enigmatic past and more so it involved his roomate.

Fate has some funny way to play with people’s life.  

* * *

 

 

After Seongwu filled him in about Minhyun and Jisung story, He couldn’t swat away the thought that they meet everyday on campus, flirting with their old feeling and tried rekindled their relationship

_So that’s why Jisung said he isn’t ready for relationship_

Daniel’s  head filled with toxic mud and he hates it. The helmet started to feel suffocating and he took it off. Before he knew it, he already wandering inside theatre department building and looking for Jisung as if he is the medicine that would cure him from this suffering.

Daniel find the man he’s been looking for walking on an empty hallway. Before he had a chance to make his presence known, A handsome figure he now able to identify as Hwang Minhyun chased Jisung from the back, half running. Daniel promptly hid his body and peek from one of the big pillar.

Minhyun grabbed Jisung by the arm and turned his body to face him. They seems to talk something seriously. Daniel couldn’t heard what they said because he was too far away. Jisung’s head tilted to the side, a body language Daniel knew whenever he put his fullest attention with great emphaty to whatever the speaker was saying. He saw Jisung put his hand on the taller guy cheek. The guy held the hand on his cheek, then they are hugging.

Daniel couldn’t stand the sweet  scene unfolding before him, so he walk away from campus straight into his motorcycle where Jisung will meet him after his lecture. He tried to calmed himself down, managed his breath,  hunched on his motorcycle. Now he is afraid that he might explode with anger once he meet him. 

However he couldn’t be more wrong. Once Jisung appear beside him with cheerful and soft voice greeting him, crescent smiles on his face and skin glowing under the afternoon light. Daniel doesn’t want anything but embrace him and never let him go regardless on what he was doing when he wasn’t there.

Daniel quickly buried his face on his neck and whispered “Hyung, let me do you today, please”

Jisung flustered over the unusual desperation coming out from him. Yes the younger one full of vigour. When it come to sex, he barely able to keep up with him. But outside his apartement, usually Daniel hold himself back and not speak anything about it until he invite him to his flat.

 _Maybe he had a rough day_. Jisung thought. So he granted his request.

Jisung didn’t know that Daniel  making love to him more passionately than usual  to get rid of all the insecurity and toxic thought that formed after he saw him and minhyun.  The next day jisung regretted his decision. He called in sick because a puppy like man wont let him out of his bed.

 

* * *

 

 

Daniel never think that much about whatever jisung does on his phone before. However after what happened last week, he cant help but overthink whenever his phone beep with notification or whenever Jisung read and type something with a serious expression.

“What is it it you stare at your phone with scary expression?” Daniel pulled the older’s hips from the back and mold it into him. He peppered kisses on his neck, smelling  strawberry from his body as they just finished washing up.

“Nothing, just some announcement from camp- Ah!” Jisung gasped as he felt a cold sensation accompanied with grated texture sweep across his neck.

“Put it aside, just focus on me” Daniel pushed Jisung body to the couch and kiss him deep. His hand greedily feeling everywhere inside the older one’s clothes. He can feel arousal growing on Jisung as he felt his hair tussled and grabbed erraticaly.

Daniel in the process of pulling the older’s pant down when a peculiar ringtone heard on the background. Its not the usual ringtone that coming out from Jisung’s phone, yet jisung react to that call with  more alert than usual. He push Daniel’s big body away and pulled out the phone form couch’s side table.

Once he put the phone on his ear, he walk away seemingly avoiding anyone to eavesdrop his conversation. Something that anyone would do whenever there’s important conversation. But  this particular call angered  Daniel so much because one: it just cockblocked him and two : The tone Jisung’s use right now on the phone is the tone that he thought exclusively his,  soft, comforting and accommodating.

“Niel ah, I am sory to keep you waiting” after half an hour  Jisung  came out from the corner where he has been hiding. He went to the kitchen to take some drink and snack.

“It was Hwang Minhyun isn’t it?” exclaimed Daniel without moving from the couch

Jisung frozen at the mention of the name. He turned toward Daniel to make sure he didn’t misheard him

“Hyung, I know”

 


	2. Halcyon days-Yoon Jisung

Jisung couldn’t believe that his past materialized right infront of his eyes. Right at the time when he thought he could build a new story with the most important people on his life.

Fuck Satan, not today

And even worse, this past already grown up. Tall and well built as if he shaped himself for the sake of being a fashion model. His voice even huskier and deeper than what he remember. Yet his face brimming with child like naivety and carelessness that kick half of his instinct to protect and embrace him while another half of his instinct want to be embraced and protected.

No..Just no….

The conversation with Seongwu two days ago, that felt like a big oasis in the middle of dessert now turned into  a cruel Joke

 

_“Hyung, you and Minhyun deserve happiness. We all know he love you and you…still love him isn’t it?”_

_“Its not that simple seongwu ah. I don’t want  us to go through that again. You…of all people understand that…right?”_

_“No hyung, don’t mind anything unrelated to your relationship. Its all in the past now”_

_“So what about you Seongwu ah? what about your happiness?” Finally he dropped the elephant in the room_

_“As I say hyung, Don’t mind anything including me….Infact, I have someone special already, I’ll introduced him to you at the party”_

 

And that Someone is Kang Daniel? Among hundreds of handsome and beautiful  people he could have, Seongwu choose this kid as his? What a fucked up reality he is living right now.

The boy kept staring him like seeing a ghost while Seongwu introduced them and he felt bad for him. Daniel might be freaking up that His boyfriend is a friend with someone who should be erased from his life. Thus Jisung deciced to pretend that he never knew the boy.  Thank god for his acting skill.

Jisung decided that the next thing he should do was to excuse himself from this commotion and slowly disseapear. Preferably from their live, if possible forever.

However when he made his last bathroom visit before his take off, Daniel stood outside the room. He wished he was here to queue the stall. Silly hope because he saw it by his own eyes that the stall barely occupied.

“Jisung Hyung” The boy grasped his his shoulder , the way he called him feels too familiar “You remember me right? I am kang Daniel, You used to tutor me back then”

Oh God..why..just why…

“Aaah, Kang Daniel ssi. Yes..yes ofcourse I remember. apologize,  you changed so much and I am bad with names” Jisung spew any kind of lie with the brightest smile to safe him from this humiliating situation “Glad to meet you again, I hope you enjoy our banquet-“

“Hyung, can we talk?” Cut Daniel impatient with the faux pleasantry.

Oh god, not the talk. He doesn’t need this, atleast not right now. He is not in his right mind.

“Niel ah” He sighed hard finally dropping all the pretense “We don’t need to talk. I see that you are with Seongwu now, he is my friend and I wont bother you guys or say anything that could jeopardize your relationship”

“What the fuck? Seongwu is my roommate, we are not together what are you talking about?”

Jisung’s face scrunched up at this new information. He took a step back trying to make sense of the situation

“You guys not boyfriends? Lovers? In some special relationship?”

“we are merely roommates, I don’t think it constitutes any of that” Daniel keep walking forward and invading jisung’s space “Hyung enough with nonsense, can we talk seriously please? I have a lot to say to you”

Jisung’s brain swirling with confusion. So Seongwu lied to him? Why? Oh god, Is he still harboring feeling for Minhyun but he was lying to him so he wont get between them like years ago?

He didn’t react to any of what Daniel requested, its just too much to handle and before he knew it, Daniel already too close to him for comfort. He swiftly move sideways and bumped at someone whose walking straight, spilled his drink into daniel’s shirt.

“I am sorry, Iam sorry I am sorry” Jisung recite apologize to the one who spilled drink and to Daniel whose shirt got stained by purple color of the tequila. He pulled out his handkerchief and tried to wipe out the stain. He was flustered, confused.

He just wanted to go away from all of this

“I am sorry” He shoved his handkerchief to daniel’s hand. “I need to go” And off he went out of the restaurant without looking back.

* * *

 

 

Jisung didn’t expect Daniel would persistently contacted him. The first time was a call from unknown number. He didn’t think much when he picked that up. Once he slide the green button, An unmistakably husky voice greet him from beyond the line. He immediately rejected and blocked the number. He hoped that it will send clear message to the boy that he doesn’t want to get in touch with him.

Ever since then he never pick up a call from unknown number.

However the boy wasn’t easy to give up. The next day he received a call from campus admin. Ms.Moon the head of administrator relayed to him that a conservatory student tried to contact him but he keep avoiding him thus she helped him contacted him. She went off about how conservatory student also part of this university and every faculty member have obligation to help the every student in need no exception.

Jisung couldn’t tell her the actual reason of his avoidance. If his desire to meet him so big that he reached out faculty for help, he might aswell granted it before it blown up bigger than it actually is. Whatever he wants, wether its formal apology, a kowotw or financial compensation He would grant it.   

 Jisung gave in and promised Daniel for a meeting.  

He never imagined a scenario so different than what the reality was. Instead of demanding apologies Daniel asked him to forgive him. And instead of threatening him for some kind of compensation, Daniel wanted to mend off their relationship.

He also said he liked him?

That fact easily flied off behind his head as his brain filled with relief and his heart with warm feeling of the kids sincere apology.

“You really thought that you are to blame for what happened back then?” Asked jisung in disbelief

“I do hyung, I am the one who did that to you” He said with 100 percent certainty.

Jisung closed his eyes. Oh how silly he was all this time and how wrong he judge the whole situation. He indeed made a boy suffer. But for different reason than what he always thought.

He need to make this right.

And it went so well that they managed to be comfortable in each other presence like they did back then. They were too comfortable with each other presence that they ended up lying beside each other the next morning

Naked

They were fucking, again.

No, there must be something wrong with the drink that night. Otherwise there must be something wrong with his head.

Jisung couldn’t believe in his self. How could he? when he is undergo a relationship surgery with Minhyun he fuck another guy, who is happens to be Seongwu’s roommate? who is arguably hot and cute at the same time?

Fuck

Are you trying to defend yourself yoon jisung? I didn’t knew you could stoop so low.

But Daniel’s smile, His kisses and his pampered affection toward him has a certain effect that somehow erode any negative feeling he should have regarding this situation. He felt loved wholefully and passionately.

Something that he never experienced before.

 

“Hyung, Can we talk?” A tall man with beautiful face beaming even from far away approached him while he walk away from campus.  

Jisung greet him with a a friendly smile “What is it Minhyun-ah?”

 

He was loved and he loved him back, but somehow it turned into a pain and bitterness.

 

_It was Seongwu who introduced his childhood friend to Jisung. Seongwu was the most promising actor from his highschool theatre club. Jisung was the club’s alumni who often volunteered and gave acting class since he pursue theatre major at college. They quick  became close and at some point Seongwu decided that Jisung might be able to convince His childhood friend into performance world since he was sure Minhyun would be great at it. With that face it would be a waste not to try._

_Surprisingly, his shy and stoic childhood friend not only managed to fall into performance world, but also  to his beloved mentor. It’s a crazy crush that he thought would go away soon. But Minhyun affirmed him over and over that he already met the love of his live._

_Initially, Jisung didn’t take it seriously. He brushed it off as naïve infatuation, A puppy love, A phase. Minhyun responsed to it by becoming more persistent in pursuing him and doing whatever he can to woo him over the years. He basically throw himself infront of Jisung._

_Its hard not to fall for Hwang Minhyun. Especially with that clean cut personality, His sweet words,  model stature and pretty face. Eventually they were going out after minhyun and seongwu graduated from high school._

_However there’s complication_

_Because for Seongwu, Hwang Minhyun is the love of his life._

_When Minhyun and Jisung started dating, Seongwu became cold and distant, especially toward Jisung. It’s painful for the older one because eventhough he reciprocate minhyun’s love, Seongwu is his most precious best friend. He didn’t want to loose any of them thus  Jisung tried to make it works. However, the harder he tried, the further Seongwu push them away. Its upset jisung, but apparently its Minhyun who suffered the most because he’s been with Seongwu since forever._

_Out of nowhere there’s idea forming on his mind that he will never be enough for Minhyun no matter how much love he gave to him because Seongwu knows  minhyun  better and capable of giving him more. The idea often materialize into insecurity and jelaousy._

_He then find out that they communicate and often hangout without him aware of it. When confronted, they reasoned that jisung might not like the nature of their relationship, even Minhyun took Seongwu side at that time._

_Eversince then, They often had small argument, sometimes it grew into a full blown fight. At some point they decided to gave up before the toxicity killed all of them. By chance Jisung got a scholarship to pursue master degree in england provided them with ample space to breathe a fresh air and rethink everything._

 

“Hyung, is that true about the rumour? Are you going out with that boy from conservatory? Seongwu’s roommate?” Asked Minhyun with unhappy expression, there’s knotted on his forehead.

Jisung sighed He knew sooner or later Minhyun will come to him about this. The rumour already spread out like wildfire. He was aware that The younger one intended to rekindle their old flame by the way he looked at him, Spoke with him and keep inviting him for dinner. He was considered it until he learnt about Seongwu’s lie.

He has been keeping his distance with minhyun because he doesn’t want to hurt Seongwu again.

 “I am not dating anyone right now if that’s what you meant Minhyun ah” Answered Jisung

“He regularly picking you up and spent time with you.  By any definition, you guys are dating”

Jisung froze at his statement, he has a point. Things they’ve done basically dating, yet He doesn’t give  the status it deserve.

“We..we are not dating” Jisung still adamant about it

“Hyung..”

“I am sorry Minhyun-ah,  I don’t want to discuss my personal life with you.To be honest,  This is not your business” Answer Jisung slowly and kindly as not to offend the younger one.

However, Minhyun being the sensitive one still taken aback by it. He dropped his face, sulking.

“I am sory, I stepped over the line”

Jisung felt bad looking at him, he raised his hand and stroke his cheek. A gesture he used to do whenever he tried to shoote him.

“No, its okay, I understand”

Minhyun held the hand on his cheek and basked on the familiar feeling that he missed so much

“Hyung, if you aren’t dating, is..is there any chance? For me? Would you give it a try on us again?”

Jisung smiled a little. His stuttered words and soft voice when he asked permission to enter his life so endearing that it made him fall for him years ago. He also touched by how the younger one still persistent about wanting to be with him even though he knew about him and Daniel.

Jisung hugged him and pat his back. This man is truly precious one of a kind. It’s a shame thing didn’t worked out between them back then.  

“Minhyun-ah please don’t worry about this too much, lets take things slow for now” Jisung said trying to level down the situation. He need more time to consider things through.

* * *

 

 

Jisung never been loved so passionately. Not just because Daniel is really good in bed (wich he certainly is ) But also because the younger one never failed to show how he is the centre of his affection. In his own way, he made jisung felt as if he was the most precious people on the planet. Whenever they are together, there’s some electric like vibe that pull them closer to do whatever for the sake of emotional and physical pleasure, erasing everything else thats not.  

He take advantage of this relationship to procrastinate on his real issue : Minhyun and Seongwu.

 He want both of them back into his life, like they used to be. However Between him and that, there’s treacherous landscape filled with landmines and traps that he need to cross. Its tiring just to think about it.

_“Hyung, let me do you today”_

With that words, his heart jumped a bit, His stomach churned and his brain flooded with fluttering anticipation

Daniel, is his happiness, his oasis, His escapism.  

 Jisung wished he can dwell there forever, but he knew the illusion will be shattered sooner or later.

 

“Hyuuuung, how could you do this to me..”

A drunken call from minhyun do that exactly

“Minhyun ah..”

“Whats he goth that I don’t have?” He clearly wasted, and its worrying because minhyun is normally hate alcohol and its only 9PM in the night

“You are drunk..”

“So whathh? Its better thanh beingh miserable thinkgh abouth you andh dahniel..Hyungh..I knowh you are with him right nowh”

“Minhyun ah, where are you right now?”

“Whatsh the poinths hyung don’t care abouth me anyway”

“Minhyun ah….”

“be with thath kid, I dont caresh anymore…but I love youshh hyuuuung..”

“Stay where you are, I’ll call seongwu”

Fortunately, Seongwu available that night and know where to find minhyun. He too surprised and worried after hearing about what transpired from Jisung.  

“Hyung, Can I say something to you?”

Jisung doesn’t answer as he knows more or less what Seongwu will say

“I think You are being unfair to Minhyun and Daniel. Please think about their feelings  and make a decision”

“I will, I am sorry to troubling you Seongwu ah…and thanks for taking care of Minhyun”

He sighed hard. Crouched on the corner stairs that lead to mezannie of his flat. It was a rough call.

Then he remember a big boy he just left hanging with a blue ball on the couch. He wasn’t sure If he need to talk about it today or to push it away a couple days more. He felt his throath dry from talking and stressing about Minhyun. First thing first, he need to drink.

However apparently He wasn’t given a chance to procrastinate anymore.

 

Facing with a hard reality is like a cold shower. He was awake and sharp. Suddenly he knows what the right thing to do

“Hyung, I know our relationship is more physical than anything” The young man said with parched tone as if it’s the ugliest thing to came out from his mouth.

No, it isn’t true..Jisung shake his head subtly

“And you and Minhyun have something that I don’t have”

Jisung felt a pang on his chest once he realized Daniel been thinking that way because of his indecisiveness  yet the young man been holding it back since god knows when.

“Regardless, I love you and I want to be with you hyung” Finally Daniel said it. He look at Jisung with a hopefull eyes that look like a hurt puppy

This confession should be a delightful occurrence if only he wasn’t being a total mess who doesn’t deserve any of it.

“Niel ah…I like you so so much, I Love every single time we spent together” The younger face light up with the beautiful exposition. However being a naïve young person, doesn’t aware that every  good preambule that felt too good to be true usually followed by a dreadfull conjugation.

“But…I am not in the position to accept anyone’s love right now” At that instant daniel’s face darkened

“Is this about Minhyun? Do you want to get back with him?”

“Yes..No…I mean I am trying to fix my relation with him, and its not because I want to get back to him, I need to think about it-But minhyun is my dear friend that I’ve known for a long time. I cant let him be  astray  because of me”

“So what about me hyung? About us? Is there any speck of me inside your heart?”

“As I said, I am happy whenever I am with you, but I cant promise you anything right now and I wont asked you to wait anymore. You don’t deserve this Niel ah. Theres person better for you than I ever be”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I think…that’s the best thing we can do for now. I am sorry for wasting your time”

“If that what you want” Daniel sighed. Dejectedly stand up,  picked his jacket and duffle bag that he threw on the living room’s floor and went toward the door. Before opened the door. He stopped and turned around

“Hyung, the time I spent with you was some of the happiest moment I ever had. I’d make sure this memory  wont go to waste.”

Jisung smiled weakly at the sweet words of encouragement. Even after what he did to him, the boy still make his heart flutter. He mouthed silent  thank you when Daniel turned around and step out from his room.

The sound of closing door feels like an ice cold spear piercing through his heart. Jisung knows at that point, he just lost his ray of hapiness. Before he realized it, tears flowing down his eyes and he sobbed violently, crouching on the floor infront of the couch and buried his face between his knees.

When he broke up with Minhyun, it felt chaotic. Like a dozens of people screaming inside his head at the same time. Half being mad at Minhyun and Seongwu while half being upset over his immaturity handling their situation.It was stressfull thus he escaped it by went thousands mile apart from them. However at that time he strangely felt relieved instead of sad because deep down in his heart, He knew He can always get back with minhyun if he wanted to.

Today when Daniel left, he feels like dozens of needles piercing his innard. Its painful because he knows once Daniel stepped outside that room, that’s when he stepped outside of his life. He hurt him too much for any possibility to retain his love back. Yet he knows no other way to make this right.

At this point he should consider himself the master of breaking up with people that he love. He then scoffed at the realization that he still can make a joke out of his misery. 

He deserve to be hurt. He need to take it in order to get Minhyun  and Seongwu back into his life.

After a while, Jisung wipe his own tears, stretch and take a deep breath. He pulled the phone and look for Minhyun’s number to send him a message. He need to meet him.

 

He already made  a decision.


	3. Spring after Snow

The giant hall filled with thousand of students one ceremony away to be Bachelor or master graduates. Daniel was one of them, donned his dark toga and golden sash sitting in the centre front row. Ready to give out his speech as he was choosen as this year’s valedictorian for his national and international level of achievement.

He turned toward the left side of the stage where the staff and lecturers sat and finding Jisung  among them. He look dandy  and handsome as ever with his beige suit and brown tie. Silver ear cuffs  on both side of his ears. The man busy talking and laughing with another handsome sat man beside him. Its Minhyun who just contracted as lecture last year, attending his first graduate ceremony. 

 Daniel smiled remembering convoluted things happened between them. It feels like it happened yesterday. And now everything already behind them, they grew up and move on.

His train of thought cut as master of ceremony took the podium and announce the start of the event.

At certain point he was called to take the podium to make his speech as this year’s valedictorian. Daniel  felt nervous for the first time in the last couple of months. At the podium he find his mom sat among other parents. Hand clutched on her chest probably even more nervous than he is right now.

He started his speech with a smile wich somehow always wipe out his nervousness. He told the story about how he has been  living the life as a student and channeled it into his work. About How friends and family is an important part  of his life. About how perseverance will take you somewhere even if you fail at certain points. Then He moved to  gratitude part of the speech : His Mom, first and foremost the most important person on his life who have been a resilient parents, loving, supporting and trusting him no matter what he did. He also thanked lots of people like His teachers, His friends The faculty.

“And last but not least” He smirked reading the last line of his speech that jotted down last minute with hand under the typed texts “I want to say thank you for this person who have been my infinite source of inspiration. The one who introduce  me to things I wouldn’t know about life otherwise. Without him I wouldn’t create the masterpiece that granted me first palce on World Dance championship.  This campus’s proud lecturer from Theatre and performance departement, Yoon Jisung-ssi. Thank you and  I love you”

The hall filled with chaotic commotion,hand clapped, cheers and screams that Daniel’s last greating couldn’t be heard.  Jisung’s face flushed with red. He covered his face with his palms and crouching at his seat. Minhyun laughing, and tapping his back. Jisung then lifted his head, still flustered he fanned his face with his hands . He doesn’t know where to look. Daniel stepped down the podium with a wide grin on his face. Several students  from his row greeted him with high five.

He then turned toward the lecturer seat and made a thumb up toward Jisung before sat in his allocated chair wich incites more cheers and screams from the students in the hall.

It’s the wildest graduation ceremony the campus ever had.

“Crazy day huh” Seongwu who sat on parents and visitors section all this time. He approached minhyun once the hall started to be empty from graduates and families.

“Very…” Minhyun smiled emphatically. He took the hand that landed on his shoulder and squeeze it.

“How’s your first graduation ceremony as a lecturer?” Asked Seongwu

“Really interesting, thanks to Kang Daniel” MInhyun giggle remembering what the crazy boy did back then

“He does things in his own ways, its always amusing to watch” Seongwu sighed recalled what he did for the crazy-miserable couple almost a year ago. He circled his arm on his boyfriend waist.

“They Deserve to be happy”  MInhyun whisper as he rest his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

 

* * *

 

_Flash back to 1.5 year ago_

 

“Is Jisung Hyung seeing someone?” Asked Daniel after a short greetings and pleasantry through skype voice call to his former roomate.

“Not that I know of, and where are you, why are you so difficult to contacs? Is it true that you are in the US right now?” Seongwu barraged Daniel with rounds of question since the man been MIA for a couple of weeks.

Ten seconds of silence as if the younger guy from the end of line thinking about something really hard

“Hyung” Finally a sound coming out of the speaker “I am gonna win this” it sounds more like he talk to himself

“Win what?” asked Seongwu confused

“Pick me up at the airport next sunday morning, I need you to help me with a couple of things”

 

Seongwu couldn’t  believe him. At the promised day Daniel made him his lackey the entire day. Why he couldn’t  make it easy? Just call Jisung and be done with it. But The dancer need to make things dramatic.

Seongwu agreed to it considering what Jisung did for him and minhyun. If not for him, They wont be together now.

He checked  her watch, its supposed to be the time Daniel appear from arrival gate and the time for him to send something to Jisung. He decided to do the latter since he saw daniel’s head appear form afar.  He was statisfied as he received double blue check on his message signaling the older one already read it.

30 minute later as they drove away from the airport, he get a call from Jisung.

He sound shaky, confused  and a bit flustered. Seongwu knew the cause of it is the link of video that he sent before.

 

Daniel was competing in World dance competition on the USA. For this year, they made a short documentary like video for top finalists wich consist of interview, practice video, back stage activities and their stage performance. The video uploaded on their  youtube channel. 

On that video, when asked about his inspiration. Daniel told a story about a person that he left back in Seoul. They were together for a brief time, the time they spent together felt so concrete and magical that it can be translated into a choreography. 

_“Any message for your muse?” Asked the interviewer amused by the story behind the piece that landed him spot at the finale._

_He looks straight to the camera, a bit tense because of nervousness “Yoon Jisung, I love you, I still love you. This dance I created because of us. This is to prove my feeling for you and this time,  I wish you can accept it”_

 

“Seongwu ah…how did you find this video? Where are you now? I need to meet you…Daniel..He..Where is he?”

“Hyung-“

“Is he in US right now? I Should buy plane ticket today- Ah I need to find my passport first, last time seulgi keep it…”

“Hyung please calm down first” Cut Seongwu. He feels bad for the older one.

“Seongwu ah..I..I need to meet him..I need to see him” He sound desperate, Seongwu could hear him sobbed.

“Hyung…you will meet him, I promise you.  But I need you to calm down first. Don’t do anything and stay where you are. I will be with you in a minutes”

He hit the brake on the car. Almost suddenly that it emit a peculiar sound.

“Hyung, can you go down for a sec? I have  something for you” Asked Seongwu via phone

 As Jisung open the door of his apartement building, He greeted by a Seongwu who grinned widely and hug him tight. However the older eyes almost fall from his socket seeing someone walking behind him a couple meter apart.

“I told you, you will meet him. Thank me later” Whispered seongwu. He gave a final pat on his back and releasing him from his hug. Daniel walked behind him with a gift bag and flower on his hand. Even though he looked a bit tired, a cheerful smile plastered on his face.

“Hyung..Its been a while”

Jisung covered his mouth with both hand, then he run toward the man with the flower and hugged him hard, He buried his face to his broad shoulder.  The stuff Daniel carry on his hand fell to the road as he hugged him back, shooting and patting his hyung's back. Without words they understand each other.   Not long after they engulfed into a deep passionate kiss.

Seongwu smiled at the couple dramatic reunion. He walked toward them and made a fake coughing sound to tell them that he was still there, Starving and expecting for a lunch treat.

 

* * *

 

 

At the upper level of graduation hall, there’s an empty office that used to be administration office before it moved to the annex building next door. Now what its left is a couple of boxes and an empty table. As wild as it is today at the graduation hall, the empty room now burnt with a passion fire coming out from two loverbirds who caused commotion several hour ago.

“You are crazy-“ whisper Jisung between kisses “It was really embarrassing you know”

He was pulled to sit at the table while his lover stand between his tighs, enjoying him like a delicious buffet he is

“But you like it wasn’t it?” Daniel intertwined his hands with the older ones while his mouth ravaged every part of his hyung’s mouth before moved to his jaw and his neck.

“Silly, I…I’d die because of heart attack if you keep this out” He let go his hand to hold on to the broad shoulder of his lover for dear life because between his and daniel’s body, the feeling just getting hotter and tighter.

Daniel lift his head up to look at Jisung’s eyes while pouting “Don’t talk about death, it’s a turned off”

The older one’s scoffed “Well…do you really expect to screw me here?” he said with a mocking tone.

The younger one smirk, he take it as a challenge and pulled his hips closer until their groin touch with each other, elicited a gasps form the older.

“Well…Isnt it what we gonna do here?” Without warning he devouring his boyfriend’s mouth, hand squeezing his buttock and grinding his crotch with it.

Jisung’s breath hitched at the sudden ministration. If they keep it up he’ll be screwed at this spot.

“No..ahn..stop…Stupid…ehmph..choding” He whimpered between kisses and pants trying to pushed down the arousal that steadily growing between their legs. He tried to push his boyfriend away, but the big body doesnt budge and he is too weak from being aroused to add more force.

Fortunately,a door slammed open pulled them up from the dirt, Jisung take that chance to push his big lover off from his body.Thakfully its his two best friend who came to the rescue.

 

The pair have been looking for them since Jisung’s mother gave notice to them that this is time for the group to have celebratory supper at nearby barbeque place that Daniel reserved the day before. Luckily, Seongwu aware about the empty place upstairs  that known as an ideal hiding place for delinquents of this campus to sneakily do whatever stupid things delinquents do.

“Do you think they already fucking?” Whispered minhyun outside the door.

Seongwu rolled his eyes and face palming. They've been together for one and half year, yet they still act like a couple in heat. Its become his standart routine now prying the couple apart from doing it on inappropriate time and place.

“Check it up first, we don’t need to face akward situation more than we face right now” Answered seongwu with the same low voice. He slowly opened the door and peek inside.

After he was sure both still have pants on, they decide to interject the stupid couple because they don’t want to loose their precious table. That place pretty popular especially today where most family will held celebrate their kids graduation day.

“Ya..ya…love birds…Safe the kinky toga sex later, your mothers have been waiting for you both”  

 

 


End file.
